Once Upon A Messed Up Time
by Crimson Dahlia
Summary: The Frontier gang will be casting our all time favorite fairy tales. T for language, some yaoi because Digimon frontier don't have enough suitable character and some girls/boys crossdressing.
1. Cinderella

This is my first fanfiction (sort of) do please excuse me for any mistakes I make. Enjoy~

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon Frontier or it's characters. I do not own any of the Fairy Tale(s) used in this story.

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Story: Cinderella

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**Once upon a time there lived an unhappy young girl.**

Izumi appeared

"Kyaaaa, get away Takuya! *pause* *looks around* where am I?"

**Your taking apart in this little fairy tale plot and I'm the narrator.**

"Hey don't bring me here for some stupid fairy tale plot because you wanted to,"

**Yeah well guess what? I don't care, so shut up and play your role.**

"What's my part do I play?"

**Recall what I just say a few line back**

"An unhappy young girl? Oh no way!"

**Well the unhappy young girl is Cinderella and I still don't care what you want.**

"Fine be that way now hurry up and finish the damned play so that I can go back to the others,"

**Whatever and by the way the others will be taking apart in this as well now where was I… Oh yes! Her mother was dead and her father had married a widow with two daughters. Her stepmother didn't like her one little bit. All her kind thoughts and loving touches were for her own daughters. Nothing was too good for them - dresses, shoes, delicious food, soft beds, and every home comfort.**

"Yea, yea, whatever,"

**Shut up it's not your turn yet… But, for the poor unhappy girl, there was nothing at all. No dresses, only her stepsisters' hand-me-downs. No lovely dishes, nothing but scraps. No rest and no comfort. She had to work hard all day. Only when evening came was she allowed to sit for a while by the fire, near the cinders. That's why everybody called her Cinderella.**

"Really I thought it's because her name was Ellacinder and the authors decide it sounded weird so they changed it,"

**Yeah, whatever nobody asked. One day, beautiful new dresses arrived at the house. A ball was to be held at the palace and the stepsisters were getting ready to go.**

"Who are the step sisters and step mother?"

Ranamon, Chiaki, RhodoKnightmon appeared

"I see," Izumi said

**Cinderella didn't even dare ask if she could go too. She knew very well what the answer would be:**

"Ahahaha, Izumi-chan looks like I'm the prettiest," Ranamon said

**Er… No it's supposed to be: "You? You're staying at home to wash the dishes, scrub the floors and turn down the beds for your stepsisters."**

"Why should I be listening to anyone, I can say what I want,"

" Be nice we're guests after all, okay what was the line… Oh yes! You? You're staying at home to wash the dishes, scrub the floors and turn down the beds for your stepsisters," Chiaki said

" Why am I the stepmother?" RhodoKnightmon said

**Well at least you got the point Chiaki-san and RhodoKnightmon it's because I said so and your time is up bye**.

RhodoKnightmon, Ranamon and Chiaki disappeared

**Anyway 'Cinderella' your line please~**

"Um…," Izumi looked at her lines… And continued, "They will come home tired and very sleepy.. and…" Izumi looked at her lines again… "Oh dear, I'm so unhappy!" Izumi sighed

**Suddenly something amazing happened. As Cinderella was sitting all alone, there was a burst of light and a fairy appeared.**

Tomoki in a pink tutu with fairy wings appeared holding a wand thing…

"What?," Tomoki looked down, "Ahhh! I'm wearing a pink tutu!" Tomoki starts to panic.

**Hey kid you're playing the fairy godmother wanted or not so suck it up and read your lines.**

"Okay…" Tomoki frowned, he read his line, "Don't be alarmed, Cinderella, I know you would love to go to the ball. And so you shall!" Tomoki said trying in a try-to-be-girlish-voice and turns out to be pretty good at it.

"How can I, dressed in rags? The servants will turn me away!" Izumi said

**Good, good now the story: The fairy smiled. With a flick of her magic wand Cinderella found herself wearing the most beautiful dress she had ever seen… Err… Tomoki your lines.**

"Huh? Oh!" Tomoki looked up his line, "Now for your coach, a real lady would never go to a ball on foot! Quick! Get me a pumpkin!

"Oh of course," Izumi said

**Rushing away. Then the fairy turned to a passerby cat? Wow this story is messed up… So anyway fairy say your line to the cat.**

"You, bring me seven mice, and, remember they must be alive!." Tomoki said

"Meow," the passerby cat said, he/she scratched Tomoki who tried not to scream then and ran away.

**That's not supposed to happen…**

"Ouch," Tomoki said rubbing the scratch

**... Cinderella soon returned with the pumpkin and the cat with seven mice he had caught in the cellar.**

7 cows that were locked in a wooden cage and was definitely not caught by a cat.

A few minutes later Izumi came back without a pumpkin.

**Hey where's the pumpkin, we need the pumpkin.**

"I can't find any can't you just poof some out?" Izumi said panting

**Good idea…**

A little pumpkin the size of an orange appeared

"What is that supposed to be?" Izumi asked

**A pumpkin duh what does it look like an orange?**

"Actually yes," Tomoki said poking the pumpkin with his 'wand'

**FORGET THE STUPID PUMPKIN! NOW TO THE STORY!**

** With a flick of the magic wand the pumpkin turned into a sparkling coach and the mice became six white horses, while the seventh mouse turned into a coachman in a smart uniform and carrying a whip. Cinderella could hardly believe her eyes.**

The 'pumpkin' and the cage of 'mice' disappeared but nothing else came back.

"Hey where are the horses?" Tomoki asked

"And where's the coachman?" Izumi asked

"And where's the coach?" Tomoki and Izumi said in unison

**Be patient…**

1 minute… 2 minutes… 4 minutes… 8 minutes… 10 minutes…

"Where are they?" Izumi asked

Then 7 pigs of different colors, an old and rusty car structure and Takuya in a fancy suit holding a bucket that says 'once upon a PIGGYBANK' filled with water appeared

**There you go happy.**

"It's supposed to be 6 WHITE HORSES, a SPARKLING coach and a coachman in a SMART uniform that's carrying a WHIP!" Izumi half screamed

"Hey, Izumi how are you?" Takuya said not knowing the situation

**Well Takuya Izumi is fine thank you very much and Izumi it's not my fault that Tomoki's horrible at magic.**

"Hey!" Tomoki screamed

**Cinderella went to the ball on a sparkling coach of 6 white horses, drived by coachman in a smart uniform carrying a whip. And Tomoki your role is over so you can go back now.**

"Yay!" Tomoki said before disappearing

**You to Takuya**

Takuya disappeared

**When Cinderella arrived at the ball no one realized who she really was, the prince walked up to her and say:**

"One problem, WHERE IS THE PRINCE?!" Izumi said

**He'll be here…**

Kouichi dressed in a white suit appeared.

"Hey, Izumi what'cha doing? And what am I doing in a suit?" Kouichi double asked

**Izumi is currently playing Cinderella for this performance and you Kouichi will be playing the Prince Charming so hurry up and say your line.**

A character line appeared in Kouichi's hand

"Okay!" Kouichi said smiling, and then he read his line, "hello princess, may I have this dance?" Kouichi bowed

"Of course," Izumi answered not bowing, geeze rude much?

**Cinderella had a wonderful time at the ball until she heard the first stroke of midnight! She remembered what the fairy had said, and without a word of goodbye she slipped from the Prince's arms and ran down the steps. As she ran she lost one of her slippers, but not for a moment did she dream of stopping to pick it up! If the last stroke of midnight were to sound... oh... what a disaster that would be! Out she fled and vanished into the night.**

**The Prince, who was now madly in love with her, picked up the slipper and said to his minister: **

Junpei appeared

"Go and search everywhere for the girl whose foot this slipper fits. I will never be content until I find her!" Kouichi said putting up an act, man he's good.

**So the minister tried the slipper on the foot of every girl in the land until only Cinderella was left.**

Kouichi disappeared and was replaced by RhodoKnightmon, Ranamon and Chiaki

**Now RhodoKnightmon your LINES!**

"Psh! Whatever… That awful untidy girl simply cannot have been at the ball, tell the Prince he ought to marry one of my two daughters! Can't you see how ugly Cinderella is?" RhodoKnightmon said with no interest.

**But, to everyone's amazement, the shoe fitted perfectly. Suddenly the fairy appeared and waved her magic wand. In a flash, Cinderella appeared in a splendid dress, shining with youth and beauty. Her stepmother and stepsisters gaped at her in amazement, and the minister said:**

Junpei appeared in a judge suit with a character line in his grasp

"Hey wha?"

**OH SAVE IT AND READ YOUR LINES!**

"Ah, Come with us Cinderella! The Prince is waiting for you." Junpei squeaked.

**So Cinderella married the Prince and lived happily ever. As for the cat, he just said "Meow!"**

A different 'passerby' cat appeared and meowed then it disappeared along with everyone else but the narratorwho doesn't seem to be there in the first place.

**The End**

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**Character(s):**

**Cinderella**: Izumi Orimoto

**Prince Charming**: Kouichi Kimura

**Fairy Godmother**: Tomoki Himi

**Step Mother**: RhodoKnightmon

**Step Sisters**: Ranamon and Chiaki

**Minister:** Junpei Shibayama

**Coachman**: Takuya Kanbara

**7 Mice**: 7 cows in a wooden cage.

**6 White Horses**: 6 Pigs of different colors

**Pumpkin**: Orange-sized something supposedly a pumpkin

**Sparkling Coach**: Old and rusty car structure

**Whip**: Bucket that says 'once upon a PIGGYBANK' filled with water

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So what do you think? If you like/hate it please review, critiques, compliments anything (as long as it's worth reading).


	2. Snow White part 1

Thanks for those who have reviewed, to be honest I wasn't expecting any since... First of all I'm new, and second I get that my sense of humor is pretty dry, so sorry about that.

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Reply/Answer(s):

Allycat: Don't worry, Kouji will appear in this chapter, I just can't seem to find a good role for him to play in Cinderella so yeah.

lightwingsx3: To tell you the truth, I was planning to give Kouji the coachman role, but I figure it would be to boring. And there doesn't seem any other roles that can fit Kouji so, I skip him for last chapter, but don't worry he's going to appear.

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Story: Snow White (part 1)

**Once upon a time when the snow lay thick and white on the ground, a Queen sat by her palace window, sewing her husband's shirts. As she sewed she pricked her finger, and a drop of blood fell on to the snow gathered on the windowsill. The Queen looked at the red drops on the white snow, and at the ebony black frame of her window and liking the way the colors looked together, thought to herself.**

Izumi in a purple gown holding a shirt and a needle

"Wha-, oh not this again," Izumi said looking down on her dress

**Yes this again now to the story: As she sewed she pricked her finger, and a drop of blood fell on to the snow gathered on the windowsill. The Queen looked at the red drops on the white snow, and at the ebony black frame of her window and liking the way the colors looked together, thought to herself. Izumi prick your finger with the needle please~**

"What?! No way!" Izumi screamed

**Well you've got no choice so do it or I'll slice your fingers of!**

"Fine!" Izumi pricked her finger with the needle on her hand.

**Good: As she sewed she pricked her finger, and a drop of blood fell on to the snow gathered on the windowsill. The Queen looked at the red drops on the white snow, and at the ebony black frame of her window and liking the way the colors looked together.**

"I'm a queen in what story?"

**Snow White**

"NO! I'm not going to be an evil bitch!"

**Who said you're an evil bitch, you're the first queen who will soon die.**

"OMG an assassin!"

**I'm not going to kill you relax, I'm just going to send you back to wherever you are before you got here.**

Izumi sighed in relieve.

**Now go along with the story! The queen thought to herself:**

"I wish I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood, as black as ebony." Izumi said

**Soon a little daughter was born to her, with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony. She called her daughter Snow White. A few days after Snow White's birth the Queen died.**

"Hoorah!" Izumi shouted before disappearing.

**Psh! She's really getting to my bad side.** **A year later the King, Snow White's father, married again. The new Queen was very beautiful, but so vain and haughty that she could not bear anyone to be more beautiful than her.**

Junpei in a silk robe and a red cloak appeared along with Ranamon in a long purple dress

"My chocolate!" Junpei looked around, "now where am I?"

"My, my what a nice purple dress I outta take it for myself," Ranamon said admiring the dress.

**You're in my little story of Snow White, and Junpei you're playing the king and Ranamon you're playing the evil queen/witch.**

"What, why can't Izumi be the queen? I don't want to be married to that thing over there!" Junpei said pointing at Ranamon

"Well because I'm prettier than her and don't you dare call me a thing1" Ranamon said to a pissed Junpei

**Whatever, so anyway. Now, the Queen had a magic mirror, that could talk, and would answer truthfully any question that it was asked. The vain Queen would look into the mirror and ask, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"**

Bokomon in a mirror costume appeared.

"Where am I?"

**In a drama now look at your lines mirror!**

"What?" Bokomon looked at his lines.

**And the mirror would reply, "You are the fairest, lady Queen."Then she would be happy, for she knew the mirror always spoke the truth. Meanwhile Snow White was growing up, and the older she grew the prettier she became, so that by the time she was seven years old, she was far more beautiful than the Queen.**

"Someone more beautiful than me, no!" Ranamon said

Junpei disappeared.

"Uh, one question, who's this Snow White?" Bokomon asked.

**You'll see in 3… 2… 1…**

Kouji in a blue dress with his hair down, his bandana was tied on his wrist.

"…!" Kouji looked down on what he was wearing

"Who's she?" Bokomon said clearly curious

"She's more beautiful than me?" Ranamon asked at no one in particular

**Bokomon if you hadn't notice 'she' is Kouji and Ranamon I'm not even going to try anwering that question of yours.**

"Oh," Bokomon said in both amazement and disappointment.

"What? Why am I in a dress?" Kouji looked around "and where am I?"

**Kouji dear to answer both of your questions you are currently in a Snow White and you're playing Snow White.**

"WHAT?! WHY ME? There's Izumi!" Kouji asked obviously angry.

**Because Izumi is a blonde and you have black hair.**

"There's Kouichi," Kouji said.

**He don't have feminism**

"Neither do I," Kouji said back.

**You got long hair and that's good enough for me, plus you look pretty good in that dress.**

Kouji didn't answer he was standing there hands balled up into fists his cheeks turned scarlet out of both embarrassment and rage.

**Let's move on, One day the Queen, as always, asked her magic mirror:**

"Well she can't be prettier than me!" Ranamon screamed at the 'mirror'

"Yes he can!" Bokomon said with unease

In the background Kouji was turning red, smoke coming out of his head, literally.

**Not quite but close enough, I think… -_- And Ranamon I told you that 'she' is Kouji!**

"Well you people have no taste!" Ranamon said

"No you're just to confident of yourself!" Bokomon said back.

Kouji shot them death glares. Ooooohh… If only looks can kill.

***She's more annoying then Izumi…* The Queen began hating Snow White. As Snow White grew prettier with every passing day, the Queen's jealousy and anger grew. At last unable to bear Snow White's beauty any longer, she called her Huntsman**

Kouichi in huntsman uniform holding ebony colored bow, a leather quiver filled with arrows, a belt armed with several hunting knifes and a little pouch filled with who knows what.

"KILL HER AND BRING BACK HER HEART TO ME ON THE DOUBLE!" Ranamon screamed on top of her voice.

"Kill who exactly?" Kouichi asked completely oblivious

"That- that Snow White that's who, now hurry, bring her to a forest and kill her!" Ranamon answered.

"Who's Snow White, am I in one of those plays again?" Kouichi asked to no one in particular.

**Yes Kouichi dear you are in the play Snow White and Snow White is Kouji. And Ranamon that's not what the evil queen is supposed to say, but oh well close enough (again…)**

"WHAT?! You expect me to kill my OWN TWIN?!" Kouichi asked (screamed)

**No, and you won't really kill him it's just a play remember, plus if you read the story before you'll cow that the huntsman didn't actually kill Snow White, so anyway the story…The Huntsman did as the Queen asked - he took the little girl into the forest and prepared to kill her. *cough* Kouji your lines.**

"Shut up and GO AWAY," Kouji said (screamed) his face still red in embarrassment and rage.

**NO! You're supposed to say 'please don't kill me' not 'shut up and GO AWAY'**

"Psh, hell if I care," Kouji said uncaring still angry

**… *he's one tough nut to crack* FINE! The child ran off through the trees deep into the forest. But somehow he was glad he had not killed the little princess. Just then a wild boar came blundering through the forest. Now Kouichi, kill the boar****!**

A HUGE boar the size of probably 2 trucks appeared.

"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KILL THAT THING!" Kouichi screamed in pure panic

**How am I supposed to know just kill it!**

"Ugh…" Kouichi 'tried' to kill the boar but ended in despair.

The boar charged at a still enraged Kouji who didn't run away to who knows where like the he was supposed to.

**KOUICHI HURRY UP AND KILL THAT THING! THAT THING IS GOING TO KILL YOUR LIL' SIS uh… BRO!**

"Waaaa," Kouichi screamed his eyes spiraling out of confusion and he was running aimlessly.

**OMG!**

*BAM *BANG* *KATHUNK* *WHAM* *Boar Roars* *BAM* *BONK*

**O.O W-O-W-!-!-!**

Kouichi looked at Kouji who just killed the giant boar and skin it alive, well some part of it anyway…

Kouji growled at the now dead boar kicking it with rage…

***Whistles* Kouichi you outta learn a thing or two from your brother, he's scary… Like T-rex trying to eat you up scary 0.0 {!) And you're… *looks at Kouichi* I shouldn't even say anything.**

Kouji ripped the giant boar's chest and pull out its heart with his new found claws and threw it at Kouichi.

"Here, now give it to dumb ass Ranamon and hurry up with the damned play!"

"Yes, ma-am… I mean sir," Kouichi salutes to Kouji and ran away to oblivion…

**Well ^-^" The Huntsman killed the animal, and cutting out his heart and tongue took it to the Queen, as proof that Snow White was dead. The Queen rejoiced and was happy that she was once again the fairest of them all. I think I read the narration late…**

Kouichi disappeared.

**Kouji I'll treat you to an all-you-can-eat strawberry buffet if you'll cooperate :)  
**

"Really? Okay!" Kouji answered with a new found happiness.

***sighs in relief* Meanwhile Snow White ran through the forest, deeper and deeper, till she could run no more. It was getting dark, and Snow White was frightened, when she saw a little cottage in a clearing. She knocked, but no one answered. Tired and afraid of staying out in the forest, she pushed open the door and went in. Inside, the cottage was neat and tidy and shining clean, except that everything in it was very tiny, as though made for children. The pots and pans on the kitchen shelves had been scrubbed and polished till she shone. A table with seven little chairs around it was laid for dinner, with seven little bowls and seven little plates, and knives and spoons and forks. Against the wall were seven little beds in a row, each covered with snow-white sheets. Snow White, hungry and thirsty, ate a spoonful of porridge from each bowl, nibbled a morsel of bread from each plate, drank a sip of wine from each glass, because she did not want to eat up all the food from one place. Then she lay down on one of the beds for a nap - but it was too hard. She tried another - that was too soft, the third too short, the fourth too long, but the seventh was just right. Snow White curled up in the seventh bed and fell fast asleep. Now the cottage belonged to the Seven Dwarfs, who would dig for ore all day in the mountains, and come back to their cottage at night. As it became dark, the dwarfs returned. They lit seven little lamps and looked around. They saw at once that everything was not as they had left it.**

"Who are the 7 dwarfs?" Kouji asked

Agunimon, Wolfmon, Loweemon, Fairymon, Blitzmon, Chakmon, and Neemon appeared

"Where are we?" the just now appeared digimons asked to no one in particular.

"WTF?!" Kouji shrieked.

Blitzmon and Agunimon looked around to spot Kouji and walked up to him "excuse me miss but do you know where we are?" they said in unison

"T_T" Kouji looked at them like they were idiots; well their human wielders are so why can't it inherit to the digimons.

Fairymon and Chakmon stare at Kouji trying t recall him

"T.T" Kouji looked at them; well Izumi and Tomoki was never the smartest people around.

"You look familiar do I know you?" Wolfmon asked Kouji

"Now that you mentioned it you're right," Loweemon said looking at Kouji trying to recall something about him.

"…" Kouji looked at them both, 'oh.. Where did I go wrong," he thought

***giggles* Snow White please explain to them, I'll give you some strawberry cheesecake if you do.**

"'Kay~" Kouji answered looking at the digimons

*end of explanation*

"That's it you're Wolfmon's wielder!" Agunimon, Blitzmon and Neemon said with a now knowing voice.

"Why are you wearing that Kouji?" Wolfmon looked at Kouji dumbfounded

"Ask the narrator," Kouji said in a monotone voice

**Who cares, now your lines please! And Kouji you're supposed to be in bed.**

Kouji walked to one of the 7 dwarf-sized beds and pretend to sleep, or so we thought…

"Someone has been here." all of the digimon said

"Someone nibbled on my chocolate bar!" Blitzmon said, everyone looked at him

"What it's the truth," Blitzmon said

"Someone has tasted my porridge," cried Agunimon.

"Someone has sipped my wine!" cried Loweemon

Everyone looked at him, "you drink?" they all asked Loweemon

"No, but the line said so," Loweemon answered in a no-duh voice.

"Oh!" they all said back

"Someone has used my fork," grumbled Chakmon

"Someone has something," cried Neemon

"Someone has slept in my bed," cried Fairymon.

"And someone IS sleeping in my bed," cried Wolfmon

**The seven dwarfs crowded round the bed and stared at Snow White. She looked so beautiful that the dwarfs decided not to wake her. They moved away on tiptoe and let her sleep.**

"HEY! I'm not lesbian!" Fairymon screamed

**You're definitely Izumi's spirit alright… When morning came, Snow White awoke, and seeing the Seven Dwarfs, jumped out of bed in a fright. But the dwarfs smiled at her and were very kind. So she told them her sad story - how she was the princess Snow White, how her stepmother had tried to kill her, and how the Huntsman had let her go, to run into the forest and to never go back home again. The dwarfs felt sorry for the pretty little princess.**

"Will you look after our house…, wash…, clean…, sew and cook for us?... If you do we shall keep you safe here with… us and look… after you." asked Blitzmon looking back and forth at his lines

**Snow White agreed, and so she began living with the Seven Dwarfs in their cottage in the forest. Every morning the dwarfs would leave for their work in the mountains, bidding Snow White good-bye and telling her to be careful. She would wash and clean and tidy the cottage all day, and have their dinner ready hot and steaming for them when they returned in the evening. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were happy and content. Since when can Kouji cook, wash, clean and tidy?**

"Since I got back from the digital world!" Kouji snapped

**Oh, and by the way… One day Snow White's stepmother the Queen pulled out her magic mirror and asked again,**

Scene change to Ranamon and Bokomon still in the mirror costume.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" Ranamon said happily

"You were the fairest, lady Queen  
Snow White is fairest now, I ween.  
In a cottage with the Seven Dwarfs  
She lives amid the forest green." Bokomon said satisfied with his line

**When the Queen heard this she realized that the Huntsman had deceived her, for she knew that the mirror always spoke the truth. She decided she would have to kill Snow White herself - for this vain and jealous Queen could not bear the thought of someone being more beautiful than her. So the Queen painted her face, and disguised herself as a poor old pedlar selling ribbons and stays.**

"Why, I am not dressing as an old lady!" Ranamon said

**Shut it girl!**

"Well," Ranamon beast spirit evolve into Calmaramon, "how about this instead?" Calmaramon asked

**S-sure *this is not gonna work out* She walked to the forest, and to the cottage of the Seven Dwarfs where Snow White was busy with her daily chores. The Queen knocked at the door of the cottage and called:**

"Stays for sale, ribbons for sale!" Calmaramon shouted shaking the earth with her voice.

**Snow White peeped out of the window and not recognizing her stepmother, thought, 'I might let this 'harmless old woman' in**.

"I know I'm not a genius but I am not so stupid to think that this thing is a harmless old lady!" Kouji screamed pointing at Calmaramon.

"Who're you calling 'thing' little lady?" Calmaramon asked (screamed) at Kouji.

"You who else?" Kouji answered in a monotone voice

"Why I outta…" Calmaramon shrieked trying to hit Kouji

**Now, now, the story dears… The stepmother, seeing Snow White, held up a pair of colorful stays and called:**

"Come dear, let me lace these up for you." Calmaramon said trying to hold the urge to attack Kouji.

**Snow White opened the door and let her in. The stepmother, pretending to do the stays, laced them so tightly that Snow White fell to the floor as though dead.**

"She can't even lace a ribbon on me…" Kouji said not impressed

**Whatever, fall down!**

"Sure whatever…" Kouji said as he knelled down then lay down on the floor.

**Chuckling gleefully, the Queen hurried back to the palace, sure that she was now the fairest of them all.**

"Kya kya kya kya kya!" Calmaramon laughed LOUDLY, creating an earthquake before she disappeared.

**That evening when the dwarfs came home, they found Snow White lying as though dead on the floor. They raised her up, and saw that her stays were too tight. They quickly cut the stays and soon Snow White opened her eyes and sat up. She told the dwarfs all that had happened.**

The digimons appeared they go up to Kouji who…

"…" Kouji was lying on the floor sleeping soundly.

***he- how did he do that so fast?* HEY KOUJI WAKE UP YOU LINES!**

"…" Kouji is still sleeping with no trace of being disturbed.

**KOUJI WAKE UP!**

"…" still sleeping

**OMG SOMEONE DUMP SOME WATER ON HIM!**

Chakmon take out a bucket form one of the shelves then fill it up with cold water and dump it on Kouji.

Kouji stirred a little but didn't seem to be disturbed at all.

Blitzmon tried to shock him awake but the plan backfires as he was sent flying to the wall as Kouji 'unconsciously' hit him in his sleep. Everyone but Neemon backed away from Blitzmon who is currently knocked out.

"0.0" everyone looked at Kouji with a mix of amazement, fear and surprisement.

**Oh… That's gotta hurt**

Fairymon was next she took out a giant trumpet from the storage room and use all her wind attacks on it making deafeningly loud noises but to no avail Kouji is not affected at all, well the others are though… Kouji pulled out a shocker from what pretty much looks like thin air and shock Fairymon.

**Ouch, my ears hurt… How is he still SLEEPING!?**

Loweemon was up next he darkened the rooms then make scary faces out of dark energy balls. But backfired as Kouji somehow get his hand on a steaming frying pan and hit Loweemon on the face sending him flying to a table splitting it in two

"My face…" Loweemon panted out before fainting.

**Ouch! So who's next? *he's even worse when he's sleeping… and how did Loweemon expect to wake Kouji up with scary faces?***

Chakmon tried again, he blow cold breezes which freezes the cabin but somehow not Kouji who threw something that looks like dynamite at Chakmon.

*explosion*

"Ugh…" Chakmon gave up.

**Agunimon turn on the heat please *shiver***

Agunimon did as he was told then he walked up to Kouji then tried to burn Kouji's dress trying to wake him up but backfires as he was slammed to an open fridge filled with ice.

"C-cold *sneezes*" Agunimon fainted

**Neemon go ahead…**

Neemon walked up to Kouji but didn't got a chance to do anything as Kouji grabbed him and threw him to the wall where Blitzmon is pushing him in deeper to the wall.

**Ugh… I don't suppose you want try *looks at Wolfmon***

"Uh…" Wolfmon looked at Kouji with unease

"I think I'd rather not…" Wolfmon answered.

**I can see why… *he's one heavy sleeper* *sigh* All right everyone break time, until Kouji wake up we can't continue the play… And I don't think anyone would dare to try to wake him up…**

*****End of Chapter (Not story)*****

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Please review if you like/hate it :) And I know Kouji is no where near that strong in his normal human form, but it's just for the humor of it all, though it's not really that humorous is it?


	3. Snow White part 2

Here is part 2 of Snow White, for those who have been eager about it, hope you enjoy it, for those who don't care, then just don't care...

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Reply/Answer(s):

Allycat: You'll find out soon :D And hope you enjoy the rest of this fairytale segment.

Favorite of Chaos: Thanks :)

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Story: Snow White (part 2)

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Kouji woke up he looked around to see everyone but Wolfmon having an injury of some kind and they were eating strawberries…

" I thought those strawberries are for me!" Kouji shouted at no one visible.

**Hm… *notices Kouji* Oh! You're awake *finally* I said I'll take you to an all-you-can-eat strawberry buffet not give some to you.**

"Don't you need some for the strawberry cheesecake?" Kouji asked

**Yes, but I'm well supplied with strawberries thank you very much. And since you're awake… BREAK TIME IS OVER GET YOUR LAZE ASSES READY AND BACK TO THE PLAY!**

"Okay…" All the digimons said putting away they're strawberries

**Okay Kouji your lines.**

*Time Skip: After explanation line***

All of the Digimons nodded definitely not caring

**All seven dwarfs heaved a tremendous sigh of relief as by now they loved her clearly. After this they begged Snow White to allow no strangers into the cottage while she was alone, and Snow White promised she would do as they said.**

**Once again in the palace the queen asked the mirror, **

Scene changed to a palace-like background, Ranamon and Bokomon in a mirror costume standing there eating some strawberries.

**Hey didn't you hear what I just say, break time is OVER!**

"Hmph" they both wipe their mout and stand up looking somewhat refreshed.

**Alright queen say your lines!**

"Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest one of' all?" Ranamon said happily.

"You, oh Queen, are fair, 'tis true. But Snow White is fairer still than you." Bokomon say.

**The queen was speechless with rage. She realized that once more her plans to kill Snow White had failed. She made up her mind to try again. She chose an apple with one rosy-red side and one yellow side. Carefully she inserted poison into the red part of the apple. Then, disguised as a peasant woman, she set out once more into the forest. **

Scene changes to a little cottage in a forest.

**When she knocked at the cottage door, the queen was quick to explain she had not come to sell anything. She guessed that Snow White would have been warned not to buy from anybody who came by. She simply chatted to Snow White and cist Snow White became more at ease she offered her an apple as a present. Snow White was tempted, but she refused, saying she had been told not to accept anything from strangers.**

"Then let me eat it dear and you'll see how harmless it truly is," Ranamon say taking a bite from the yellow side of the apple.

Kouji also took a bite from the red side with an expression of disgust.

**At once Snow White was affected by the poison and fell down as though dead. That evening when the dwarfs returned they were quite unable to revive her. They turned her over to see if her dress had been laced too tightly. But they could find nothing different about her. They watched over her through the night, but when morning came she still lay without any sign of life, and they decided she must be dead.**

"Yeah right, that apple was definitely not poisonous and even if it is, I spit it out so tough luck," Kouji said lazily.

**Again, who cares just lay down pretending you're dead and DON'T FALL ASLEEP!**

"Suuuure," Kouji lay down.

**Weeping bitterly, they laid her in a coffin of glass so that all could admire her beauty, even though she was dead. Then they carried the coffin to the top of a hill where they took turns to stand guard.**

Scene changes to a castle-like background.

**The queen was delighted that day when she looked in her mirror and asked,**

**"Mirror, mirror on the wall,**

**Who is the fairest one of all?"**

**and the mirror replied,**

**"You, oh Queen, are the fairest one of all."**

**How cruelly she laughed when she heard those words.**

Ranamon laughed maniacally, while Bokomon ate another strawberry.

**Not long after this a prince came riding through the forest and came to the hill where Snow White lay in her glass coffin.**

"Who's the prince?"Kouji asked his eyes closed.

**You'll see.**

Takuya in a prince-like attire appeared with what it seem a bull.

"WTF?!" Kouji screamed from the 'coffin' his eyes wide awake and started hitting the coffin lid, though no one really heard him since it's soundproof glass.

"Hn?" Takuya looked around and spotted the legendary warriors + Neemon.

"Hiya guys what's going on here?" Takuya run up to them going happy go lucky.

The bull 'mooed' and charged at Takuya

**Well you're in a play and Takuya… FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR LIFE RUN LIKE THERE'S NO TOMMOROW!**

"Why?" Takuya looked behind him a bull was charging straight at him "WHY ME?!" He shouted and ran away well not really, just in circles.

"Probably have something to do with that red cape of yours and speaking of red why isn't Agunimon being chased around?" Kouji said from inside the coffin somewhat amused, and again no one heard him, well no one but the bull…

As if the bull understands him it started chasing Agunimon to, who run around in the same circle as Takuya is running in.

**Well the idiots they are err…**

"Hey make this bull go away can't you?!" both Takuya and Agunimon said/shouted in unison.

**Sure…**

And then the bull was gone

Takuya and Agunimon sighed in relief.

"Okay, what was it you want to do again?" Takuya asked

**I said, I want you to play the prince role in the play, Snow White, so basically you'll have to kiss 'Snow White' to… J**

"Who's Snow White?" Takuya asked confused

**Who cares? Since she's playing Snow White, she's sure to be pretty, you don't want to pass up a chance to kiss a hot girl do you?**

"Who does?" Takuya grinned

"WHY YOU *beep* OF AM AUTHOR, GO TO *beep* THEN GO *beep* AND JUST KILL YOUR *beep* OF A PERSON YOU *beep* *beep* *beep*!" Kouji shouted from the glass coffin, but again no one can hear him, what a waste of good insults and threats.

**'Kay, now since Takuya have agreed to play the role let us enjoy the rest of the story! She looked so beautiful that he loved her at once and he asked the dwarfs if he might have the coffin and take it to his castle. The dwarfs would not allow him to do this, but they did let the prince kiss her.** **Your turn Takuya, kiss the 'girl' *this is going to be enjoyable***

Takuya looked at Kouji, and opened the coffin lid. You can clearly see smoke coming out of Kouji's head.

Kouji growled like a wolf growling at its prey and hit Takuya straight on the face sending him flying to oblivion, and then he screamed, "GET AWAY!"

"He's revived!" All of the Digimons said tears of joy coming out of their eyes, do they even have eyes?

***he was never dead, and I was really looking forward to that kiss to…* Err… We'll need Takuya back…**

Takuya reappeared, his nose was bleeding, and his cheeks were swollen.

"Snow White sure can hit" Takuya said almost passing out.

**Have some cappuccino -_-;**

A random butler appeared with a cup of cappuccino on his hand, then he feed it to Takuya.

1 second… 2 seconds… 3 seconds… 4 seconds… 5 seconds…

"WUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH H!" Takuya shouted, completely healed and re-energized, then he started running all over the place like someone just lit his hair on fire.

Everyone including Kouji stared at him both confused and amazed.

**That was super effective!**

"Where are you in? A Pokémon game?" Kouji asked annoyed

**No, but that cappuccino really did it…**

"That's a bit of an understatement" Kouji said sweat dropping

**I don't think we can continue with him this hyper can we?**

"Let's take a break again and eat some strawberries!" Kouji said happily

**S-sure *All hail Kouji, king of mood swings and easy to please-ness! Lol***

***A few hours later…***

"Oh yeah!" Takuya screamed, before he stopped running, "Okay guys, what's next" Takuya said happily.

**Break time is over everyone and Kouji just how much of my strawberries did you eat?**

"Around 5,673,999" Kouji said, he was still holding a half-eaten strawberry on his left hand.

***And he was amazed that Izumi ate a I forgot how much amount of curry rice* Well… Hurry up and finish that one on your hand, we're starting the play… O.O**

"Fine!" was Kouji's answer of disappointment. Then he ate the rest of the strawberry in one gulp…

**O.O; As the prince kissed Snow White gently, he moved her head. The piece of poisoned apple fell from her lips. She stirred and then she stretched a little. Slowly she came back to life. Snow White saw the handsome prince kneeling on the ground beside her, and fell in love with him straight away.**

"YOU WISH!" Kouji screamed a ground shaking scream

"Ouch, my ears!" Takuya said holding his ears.

***I thought he's supposed to be the silent one* IT'S JUST A PLAY, IT'S NOT REAL LIFE!**

"I still say I'm not in love with him" Kouji said.

**Who cares… *He forgot to murder me XD***

"I DO YOU DAMNED BITCH!" Kouji screamed again… He was ready to pummel someone into the ground.

**The story is going to end soon, so let's end it quick! Then the queen far away in the palace heard from the mirror,**

**"You, oh Oueen, are fair, tis true,**

**But Snow White is fairer still than you."**

**She was furious that Snow White had escaped death once more. And now the king discovered what mischief she had been up to, and banished her from his land. No one ever saw her or her mirror again.**

**As for Snow White, she said farewell to her kind friends the dwarfs, and rode away on the back of the prince's horse. At his castle they were married and they both lived happily forever afterwards. *And Kouji forgot all about the all-you-can-eat strawberry buffet***

Then everyone including Kouji who almost destroyed the building with his anger of fury disappeared.

**The End**

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** Character(s):**

**Snow White: **Kouji Minamoto

**The Unnamed Prince: **Takuya Kanbara

**Evil Queen:** Ranamon/Calmaramon

**The Queen: **Izumi Orimoto

**The King: **Junpei Shibayama

**Huntsman:** Kouichi Kimura

**Magic Mirror: **Bokomon

**The 7 Dwarfs:** Agunimon, Wolfmon, Loweemon, Fairymon, Blitzmon, Chakmon, and Neemon

**Boar:** 2 truck size boar-thing

**Horse: **A bull

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Hope you guys like it, by the way since I've got no idea what fairytale to use next, I'll let you vote, there's a poll in my page, I'll go see the votes in about a week or so, if no one votes, then I'll choose myself (will probably take me 2 hours or so...).


	4. Intermission 1

... Oh god it's been what? 2 months? Okay... Sorry about that I've been busy with school, doing requests (from a few people in dA) and others...

And so far only one person voted in the poll I set up so... I'm gonna choose a random story from the two votes(I set it up max. 2 per person by accident) and go on!

*cough* This is technically not a chapter, it's not a preview or a snek peak etc either. It's just some random piece of writing I put up... Some might say experiment though...

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Story: N/A

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**Lucemon**

**-thingy said:**

Lucemon appeared

"Who dares awake me from my bath with the creampuff fairies!?" He said (I know he's supposed to be dead (sort of...) but pft... Who cares?)

**I DO NOW SAY YOUR LINES! *Creampuff Fairies? o.O* **

"Macaroons and soufflés are my life they are the best thing in the world, especially when you eat them with rotten meat, 90 days old rotten fruits and crickets." Lucemon said disgusted.

**No, not that line, THE OTHER LINE!**

"There is no other li-" a new script appeared "The Attack Of the Mini Pigs Riding Flying Pigs Riding Rocket Pigs Riding Flying Pig Creampuffs Riding White Pork Cheese On Top of Mini Pigs"

**Wrong line!**

A new script appeared "DARKNESS TASTES LIKE DEAD FLYING PIGS WITH S-... Wait... WHAT?!" Lucemon stopped looking back and forth the whole piece of paper full of nonsense .

"NO! That's not what darkness tastes like! IT TASTES LIKE SUGARPUFF KITTENS!"

**How do you know what darkness tastes like and WTF IS SUGARPUFF KITTENS?!**

"I ATE DARKNESS BEFORE, DUH! AND SUGARPUFF KITTENS ARE KITTENS MADE OF SUGARPUFFS!"

**Oh the great evil mastermind...**

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**Takuya Kanbara**

**-said:**

Takuya appeared he was wearing a chicken costume...

"Lalala... Hey where's Bacon?"

**Whoever Bacon is she's probably in an Infinite Pit of Hell...**

"DON'T WORRY BACON, I'M COMING!" Then he disappeared to who knows where... Probably an Infinite Pit of Hell.

**Guess he doesn't know sarcasm...**

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**Kouichi Kimura**

**...**

Then Kouichi appeared of what looks like: Thin air.

**What are you doing here?**

"Practicing apparating" Kouichi said.

**Since when did this became a crossover...**

"Since HAHAHA!" Kouichi said

**'HAHAHA!' ?**

"YES! HAHAHA!" Kouichi sreeched

**Aren't you a bit too young to be apparating?**

"Phineas & Ferb reference" Kouichi screamed at a random direction.

**Really Kouichi, REALLY?**

"YEAH!"

**... Omg...**

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Then Kouichi disappeared...

**Well...**


End file.
